Sweet Tweets

Let Loose

2012-01-19T19:59:00.002-07:00

About three years ago, a wise woman said, "Consistant Time and Effort Produce Results". She was strong and healthy, pushing herself on the last mile of a six mile run. She realized that anything she set her mind to do, if done consistantly - could be accomplished. It was about determination and will, endurance and confidence. It became her mantra and she posted it proudly on her office wall, knowing that it was a truth to live by not just physically, but with her work, studies, prayers, even sleep - everything would be in harmony by never giving up.

Now fast forward. Having just returned from the gym, I sit at my desk staring at that poster. Yes, that "wise" woman was me. It's evening now and while on the treadmill (conveniently located in front of the window), I could see my reflection. Within the last three years I've gotten divorced, been estranged from my children, and gained thirty pounds. "What the hell happened to you?" I scolded the reflection. She answered, "You let go, stupid! You didn't live up to your own standards."

But then I realized that the same rule applies both in the negative and in the positive. Consistant time and effort spent on negative things produce negative outcomes. Now it's time to turn that back around. My personal trainer (also known as my daughter's boyfriend) predicted it will take ten months to get in the shape I want to be in. Ten!!! Holy cow, I thought. That's almost a year!!!Yup, ten months of consistant time and effort.

Another saying that I've become fond of has to do with letting go of the things you can't control and holding onto the things you can.

When I was young, my Dad taught me how to throw a baseball. He'd say "as soon as you let loose, it's over. So the aim has to happen before you let loose and if you take your time and do that part right, the ball will go where you want."

So,theoretically, if I work hard right now and stay disciplined, learn how to eat right and form good habits, eventually I'll be able to let go and I will automatically gravitate to the healthier choices. I know that is true in any part of life.

For instance, I read the Bible every single day beginning on January 1, 1988 to December 31, 2001. It was one of those One Year Bibles, 360 days of reading and when you read every day, at the end of the year, you have read all the way through the Bible. When the first day of the year rolled around, I just started over again. I had to replace the Bible three times because they literally fell apart from carrying them around. But it was a discipline and I was determined to read consistantly. At first I had to make time, but eventually I couldn't wait to sit down at my Lord's feet and hear what He had for me. Sadly though, somewhere along the way, I got out of the habit. I started my own business and it was too much juggling. Something had to give. And what gave was the most important thing.

I've started that discipline back up again this year thanks to someone who has impacted me for the better, always telling me how much better of a person I am than I think I am, always encouraging me and loving me no matter what. His faith in me is strong, but his faith in God stronger. Watching him grow has inspired and motivated me like in a way I can't describe.

So I take a deep breath, realizing that God has placed things under my control and I am responsible for the outcome of those things. The rest is in His hands and I can rest assured that He is more than capable of seeing me through when I place my trust in Him.

Conduct Unbecoming

2011-12-31T21:11:00.011-07:00

A good friend who read my last blog Shaking Like a Leaf made a valuable comment that I will never forget. He noted that those leaves which hold on, afraid to fall - are dead. And they must, in fact, let go. Resistance is futile. He then pointed out that although I may feel "dead" at times, I have been grafted into the Tree of Life and must never lose hope. No matter what emotions rage within, the truth remains that I am alive! There is no need to fear and no need to let go.This friend also sees me as an angel with a broken wing on the mend. Although I am no angel, his point is well taken. I am "on the mend".

Another friend who recieved my recent Christmas letter in which I lamented my age, among other things, candidly commented, "dude, that letter was depressing!"

Thank God for my honest, loving, caring, valuable friends who will speak the truth in love!

I am determined by God's grace, to achieve my 2012 New Year's Resolution: to live the life of faith I claim. A faith in the God Who gave His life for me and to Whom I gave my life 24 years ago. The God Who has never let me down. The One Who guides me, loves me conditionally, and gently nudges me in the direction of His perfect and pleasing will.

My son has a tatoo quoting Romans 12:2 "do not conform to the pattern of this world". Like Christmas cookies which all look the same, we so easily conform to a pattern which is unbecoming to our faith. We can get all tangled up in lives that look lost and hopeless, and nothing like slaves set free from bondage. What do those who have been delivered from hell look like? What do we live like? Talk like? How will the world recognize us? If we've truly been transformed, we are not cookie cutter designs taking on the shape of those around us. We do not conform to the pattern of this world, because we are in it, but not of it.

May my life reflect the God I know and love. May His light permiate through me, regardless of how I may feel on any given day. Not because of what I've done but because of Who He is!

“This is what the LORD says— he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Shaking Like a Leaf

2011-11-25T13:26:00.002-07:00

The heavy early Colorado snow storms always damage our trees. The leaves are not quite off when the storm hits and the weight is just too much. The streets are lined with broken branches as drivers dodge through the obsticle courses and city workers try feaverishly to clear the way.

I looked out the window and noticed even still, the day after Thanksgiving, there are a few stubborn leaves desperately hanging on for dear life. When the wind comes up, they shake before finally letting go and fluttering to the ground. But in doing so, they relieve the trees for the next storm.

I sometimes I hold on to things with a fear of letting go, even though I know that if I would just take the risk of falling, it would relieve others of the burden I cause. I may be shaking like a leaf, but God, grant me the courage to trust You in releasing those things that are left better off without me.

"Hold me, Jesus,
cuz I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been King of my glory,
won't You be my Prince of Peace?"
- Rich Mullins

Body Parts

2011-11-17T17:55:00.001-07:00

Today I turned 50 and can I just say that it feels like my body is falling apart? Places hurt for no apparent reason and demand my attention no matter how hard I try to ignore it.

Two weeks ago, I stubbed my left pinky toe (actually I think I broke it). Suddenly that tiny little extremity took total control of the rest of my body. It turned a fantastic shade of purple and blew up like a little balloon. It still screams the minute I stick it in a shoe. I limp around all day, then favor and pamper it at night. Meanwhile, it dictates when I work out (or not) so basically gets priority over all other parts because it's hurting!

The Scriptures call those who belong to Jesus Christ the "body" of Christ, while Jesus Himself is referred to as the "Head". The Apostle Paul uses this analogy to explain the importance of each member of the body, regardless of how insignificant some of us may seem. There are people who quietly serve the other members of the body basically unnoticed. But when that person is hurting, we should all - each member of the body - turn our attention to that person, praying for them, supporting them, comforting them, and nursing them back to spiritual, emotional or physical health. We should all gladly sacrifice whatever is necessary in order to make sure that member of body is healed.

"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say 'because I am not an eye, I do not belong in the body,' it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as He wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?" 1 Corinthians 14-18

Full Plate

2011-10-20T17:38:00.004-06:00

After going through the ala cart smorgasbord in the café, I arrived at the cash register with my heaping plate of food where it was placed on a scale. Not only were my eyes bigger than my stomach, but bigger than my pocketbook. The cashier held out her hand, smiling patiently. Embarrassed, I began dumping out the lint, paperclips, and wrappers from my pockets for the world to see, as the line grew and I heard an audible sigh directly behind me.

Finally, back at my desk to begin my “working lunch”, I went into my ever familiar overwhelmed mode when my auto reminder popped up with the meeting in 10 minutes. I instantly felt another hot flash coming on. Not wanting to walk into the meeting dripping with sweat, I scrambled to find my little battery operated hand held fan. “I’ve got too much on my plate!” I thought.

During the meeting, the color coded action item list was handed out and the woman next to me leaned over said, “who signed you up for all of this?” I rolled my eyes and whispered, “I did”.

Therefore, I concluded, there is no one but myself to blame. Just as I overload my plate at lunch, I overload my schedule, making it nearly impossible to keep up. My counselor had pointed out my tendency to deliberately set myself up for failure (basically sabotaging myself) in an effort to crowd out the painful issues that would eventually become unavoidable.

As they say, the first step is to recognize the problem. Good news is - there is One Who stands in the gap, waiting for me to empty my backpack loaded with guilt, hurt, fear, and anger before continuing the journey.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy ladened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:30

Boundaries

2011-10-10T14:52:00.005-06:00

The Colorado air is growing colder and the leaves are turning their familiar gold color, signaling the beginning of fall. Standing before a large, 5 foot square fire pit, I noticed how children played all around it without a care in the world, intuitively knowing they were protected by the rot iron fence. Mesmerized by the flames, I thought about how that fence created not only a sense of safety for them, but comfort and warmth for me.

During a recent trip to the zoo, in the reptile area, there was an extremely large boa constrictor coiled up against wall of its cage. A tiny girl bounced up next to me and calmly placed her hand on the glass. Her Daddy smiled and said, "he's almost as big as you are!" I immediately thought about how quickly he could devour her as a tasty appetizer. That glass represented the same feeling of safety as the fence around the fire.

Imagine the utter hysteria of both scenes without the rot iron fencing and the glass boundaries. I would be among many frantically sprinting to nearest exit!

A study was done at an elementary school playground where children played all along the fence. The fence was removed to see how the children would react, assuming they would run amuck. It turned out just the opposite. They actually played closer to the school building. Without a sense of security they instinctively pulled closer to the only thing that did represent safety.

Emotional boundaries, are much the same. Lacking boundaries all these years not only jeopardized my emotional security, but those around me as well. Always wanting to please, I was unable to say ‘no’. Eventually, I found myself being taken advantage of (understandably), because people didn’t know what was okay and what wasn’t. I also held grudges against them later. And of course, because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, kept those grudges bottled up inside.

I am finally discovering that having boundaries in place is critical to our emotional health and well-being and that without them we are literally like fish out of water. If the container’s gone – or even “cracked” – we eventually end up flailing and gasping outside of our intended environment.

Good Sense of Direction

2011-09-08T22:08:00.002-06:00

I recently heard an interesting statistic about people who use GPS systems in their automobile. A survey revealed that on average, most people prefer a male voice rather than that of a female. The general consensus was that the male voice was more authoritative and people tended to trust it more.

Ironically, a friend of mine told me about a time when she was driving to an unfamiliar destination when her elderly mother began arguing with her GPS (affectionately named “Bruce”). “Mom got so irritated with him, saying ‘I don’t know why he told you to turn there, he’s just wrong!’” my friend laughed. She went on to tell me how she couldn’t even hear what Bruce was saying because her mother was arguing with him so loudly. Finally, she said, “okay, Mom, you win. I will turn Bruce off and go wherever you think is right.” Of course, they ended up completely lost.

The Holy Spirit (also known as the conscience) is our built-in GPS. Question is - do we trust Him enough to follow His direction or do we just “turn Him off”, preferring our own way? I can tell you that every time I’ve done that, without fail, I’ve ended up on the wrong path leading to nowhere. His voice will never rise up and override ours. We can willingly “quench” the Spirit (1 Thessanonians 5:19).

Even though I’ve learned that lesson the hard way, I find myself questioning His guidance. Therefore, my prayer has become that I hear Him clearly and stop arguing as if I know what’s better for me. Do I really trust His guidance? If I truly believe that God loves me and has a plan for me with my best interest at heart, why do I doubt Him for a minute?

Oh, that I would hear and follow my Master without ever looking back!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Come As You Are Party!

2011-08-05T10:32:00.002-06:00

"I'm going to be a grandma!" Pam was more excited than I'd ever seen her when she told me of her daughter's pregnancy. She described every detail of the nursery, right down to the trim. Every color was carefully selected and walls are carefully painted to match the butterfly decor. Frilly dresses are already hanging in the closet and color coordinated blankets are folded neatly on the dresser as family and friends wait anxiously for the baby's arrival. She will soon be welcomed to a place prepared special just for her.

Who doesn't love coming to a place where we're accepted exactly for who we are? No judging, no expectations. I'm reminded of that 80's sitcomm Cheers' theme song. Sadly, many of us feel more welcome in a bar, (the setting of this TV series) - than anywhere else we can find. There's a reason why this program was so successful:

Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.Wouldn't you like to get away?

All those night when you've got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail;

And your third fiance didn't show;
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;

And your husband wants to be a girl;

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.

Jesus comforted His disciples when they questioned Him about His departure with the words "I am going to prepare a place for you” and “I will come back again and take you to myself.”

We can rest assured that no detail will be left undone. Our loved ones who have gone before us are waiting for our arrival at a time known only by our heavenly Father. The ultimate "come as you are" party, it will be the place prepared special, just for you - where everybody knows your name and are so glad you came!

Mourning After

2011-07-20T13:19:00.006-06:00

What makes me feel good about myself? That often depends on my spiritual thermostat.

When I distance myself from God, the things that begin to matter most to me are the things furthest from Him. Superficial offerings entrap my heart and consume my mind. I begin to believe marketing slogans such as, “Because I’m worth it” and “Have it your way” – created for the sole purpose of enticement. The goal, of course, is to make us believe that we need those things in order to look and feel great. When we place high value on material things rather than on things that really matter like relationships, our demise is exponential on the downside and we begin teetering on the brink of spiritual destruction from within.

When we presume upon God’s grace we become desensitized, thinking that because He is gracious, we now have a license to sin. This is most dangerous and exactly why King David prayed, “Keep your servant also from presumptuous sin; may it not have dominion over me!” (Psalm 19:13). The conscience, our built-in warning mechanism, can be ignored more and more to the point where we no longer feel the conviction of sin, "having our conscience seared as with a hot iron." (1Timothy 4:2) We are scarred, branded by our sin, and without remorse.

The watching world sees us compromise and labels us as hypocrites. Mahatma Gandhi expressed it this way: “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ”.
But as I draw closer to Jesus, His voice is less muffled by the "noise" and I hear Him beckoning me back. I find myself mourning over my sin, wanting nothing other than to feel His gentle hand upon me. I want to bask in His love and forgiveness, and set out with renewed focus.

There's a reason why I'm here and it's not to go along with the status quo, living a mediocre life. I want to make a difference within my own little area of influence. Navigating through murky water can be tricky, but then again, any dead fish can swim downstream!

Paper Armor

2011-05-26T16:03:00.004-06:00

The Apostle Paul tells us in the book of Ephesians to put on the "full armor of God" so that when the day of evil comes, we may be able to stand our ground. (Ephesians 6:13). He then details the spiritual relevance of each piece of that armor: the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

I searched the term Roman Armor and discovered some thought provoking information. When a soldier was equipped with the “full” armor – not just partially – he had everything he needed to defend, protect, and conquer.

The armor was not only used for offensive and defensive protection, but it was also meant to intimidate. For instance, helmets were made with a ring of three black or purple feathers about 45cm high to make each man appear twice his height.

I also found it interesting that the soldiers would lock their shields and move forward as a unit. Brethren, we must remember that as an army we are only effective as we join our shields of faith as we advance together. (Hebrews. 10:24-25). Like the Roman soldiers' armor designed to protect against projectiles such as spears or javelins, arrows, swords, or daggers - the Apostle Paul admonishes us to “take the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.” (Ephesians 6:16).

According to the above mentioned web site, there were times when the armor was too heavy. A story is told of the battle of Lake Trasimene, where soldiers that tried to swim away were drowned by their armor. I was reminded of David as a young boy when King Saul placed his oversized armor on him before his fight against Goliath and it was so heavy that he humbly refused to wear it. But the armor prescribed here in God’s Word is not burdensome or too heavy to bear. Jesus said, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Sometimes I put on my armor in such a casual, nonchalant manner that it's just a façade. Fooling only myself, I walk onto the battle field covered with paper and a false sense of security, as if the enemy doesn't know the difference between parchment and bronze!

Also interesting is the fact that often soldiers were required to leave their families for long periods of time. Jesus said, “unless you are willing to leave father, mother, brother sister you are not worthy of me.” Following Him requires sacrifice, commitment, and a willingness to fight the “good fight” every day.

Thank You, Jesus

2011-05-25T12:14:00.001-06:00

Thank You Jesus for becoming weak so I don't have to be strong.
Thank You for being willing to be considered imperfect and strange, so I don't have to be perfect and normal.
Thank You for being willing to be disapproved of, so I don't have to try so hard to be approved and liked.
Thank You for being considered a failure, so I don't have to give my life trying to pretend I'm a success.
Thank You for being wrong by the standards of religion and state, so I don't have to be right anywhere, even in my own mind.

Deep Roots

2011-04-29T19:57:00.000-06:00

When my husband informed me that he cut down our large cottonwood tree, to say I was upset would be a major understatement. It was, after all, the most mature tree in the newly developed area. It provided shade over our entire front yard every summer and was home to a variety of birds.

When he explained that the roots were breaking our sprinkler system, I thought, "then we replace the sprinkler system!" Determined to defend his actions, He proceeded to explain that they would also crack our foundation eventually. "eventually?", I thought, "who knows if we'll even live here that long?"

It was too late. Arguing for the life of that poor tree was pointless. The deed was already done. Sensing my anger, he gave it a few days and then we talked about it again. He explained how tree roots, (cottonwoods especially), seek water underground. They are known to wrap around underground pipes because of the moisture until they burst. He pointed out how they thrive along rivers because of the abundance of water.

Jesus told the Samaritan woman at the well that He is "Living Water" and if she drank of this water, she would never thirst again. What if we were as determined as those trees to seek such Water? What if we wrapped our thoughts around His words and held tight to them?

I thought about some of the small trees we've lost because of the wind or weight of heavy Colorado spring snows. The largest trees I've ever seen were in the windiest areas. Growing up while resisting wind either broke them or made them stronger.

We may not welcome resistance, but it will make us stronger if we persevere. This world's "wind", or trials, comes at us in all kinds of forms throughout our lives. But Jesus calmed the storm with His words on the sea of Galilee as His disciples feared for their very lives.

May our roots grow deep and our hearts strong as we trust Him alone, our source of Living Water.

"Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
- Jeremiah 18:8

Temporary Visa

2011-04-18T15:37:00.008-06:00

Last night my husband and I attended the funeral of a classmate friend we had gone to school with since 7th grade. As family and friends shared memories and a slideshow began, it became evident that he had touched countless others with just his broad, bright smile alone -not to mention his wit and charm. He had a contagious, positive outlook on life and was always eager to share it even in his illness.

During this life on earth, we carry a temporary visa and we are actually being prepared now for eternity!

I thank God that this is not our permenant address.

Unlike this German passport stamped "denied entry", all who have received the gift of eternal life through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ will be warmly welcomed to the place "prepared for us".

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, Who, by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body" - Philippians 3:20

God's Symphony

2011-01-05T16:26:00.002-07:00

I recently attended my first symphony when my husband surprised me with tickets for my birthday. The orchestra was warming up when we sat down, only 5 rows from the stage.

What struck me was the utter chaos of noise. Not music - noise. All instruments doing their own thing (I'm sure each one with his/her own purpose in mind). There was no order, only loud confusion and painful screeching.

Then came the dignified conductor. It became silent as all eyes and attention were fixed on him. I could feel the anticipation as he raised his arms, like bridled horses anxiously waiting for the trumpet blast.

As he motioned softly for the musicians to begin, they came in together, as one - according to his direction. Then he gave permission for another section to join in, then another. It was so masterful and he was in such control. Nothing was done apart from his direction and as long as they followed him, all was beautiful and harmonious. The talent and skill of each member was displayed perfectly, yet together they were more glorious by far. The music created strong emotions within me as I closed my eyes and took it in.

Not only was it a picture of creation falling together perfectly by the power of God's word as He spoke it into existence, but also of the world we live in daily. We try to do our own thing, ignoring the noise, focused only on our own purposes, with no consideration of the chaos we are a part of. But when we turn our eyes toward the Conductor - the One Who writes and orchestrates it all - the One Who hears the Opus before it's played and knows exactly how He intended it from the beginning, before the orchestra was even selected - then we become in tune with His will and produce harmony. It requires trusting Him and believing that we have an important part to play in His great symphony.

"Four thousand are to be gatekeepers and four thousand are to praise the LORD with the musical instruments I have provided for that purpose." - 1 Chronicles 25:6-8

Let Your Light Shine

2010-10-31T14:35:00.002-06:00

During Halloween season, we cut off the tops of pumpkins, pull out all the goop, carve a design into the side, and place a candle inside to shine in the darkness.

This seems to me a perfect picture of what God desires to do within our hearts. If we will allow, He will gently clean out the seeds of hurt, wounds, anger, distrust, lust, insecurity, guilt, etc. Basically, anything within us that would prevent His light from shining through our lives.

Unless we invite the Great Physician to perform this open heart surgery, we can never experience freedom from the muck that weighs us down and holds us captive to our own destructive attitudes and behaviors.

"Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Seen By Men

2010-10-15T15:03:00.000-06:00

"They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men" (Matt. 6:5).

This is the working definition of hypocrisy: "to be seen by men." The Greek word for hypocrite, hypokrits, originally meant "actor." First-century actors wore masks. A hypocrite, then, is one who puts on a mask, a false face.

Jesus did not say, "Do not do good works." Nor did he instruct, "Do not let your works be seen." We must do good works, and some works, such as benevolence or teaching, must be seen in order to have an impact. So let's be clear. To do a good thing is a good thing. To do good to be seen is not. In fact, to do good to be seen is a serious offense. Here's why.

Hypocrisy turns people away from God. When God-hungry souls walk into a congregation of wannabe superstars, what happens? When God seekers see singers strut like Las Vegas entertainers . . . When they hear the preacher—a man of slick words, dress, and hair—play to the crowd and exclude God . . . When other attendees dress to be seen and make much to-do over their gifts and offerings . . . When people enter a church to see God yet can't see God because of the church, don't think for a second that God doesn't react. "Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding" (Matt. 6:1).
Hypocrisy turns people against God. So God has a no-tolerance policy. Let the cold, lifeless bodies of the embezzling couple issue their intended warning. Let's take hypocrisy as seriously as God does. How can we?

1. Expect no credit for good deeds. None. If no one notices, you aren't disappointed. If someone does, you give the credit to God. Ask yourself this question: If no one knew of the good I do, would I still do it? If not, you're doing it to be seen by people.
2. Give financial gifts in secret. Money stirs the phony within us. We like to be seen earning it. And we like to be seen giving it. So "when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" (Matt. 6:3).
3. Don't fake spirituality. When you go to church, don't select a seat just to be seen or sing just to be heard. If you raise your hands in worship, raise holy ones, not showy ones. When you talk, don't doctor your vocabulary with trendy religious terms. Nothing nauseates more than a fake "Praise the Lord" or a shallow "Hallelujah" or an insincere "Glory be to God."
Bottom line: don't make a theater production out of your faith. "Watch me! Watch me!" is a call used on the playground, not in God's kingdom. Silence the trumpets. Cancel the parade. Enough with the name-dropping. If accolades come, politely deflect them before you believe them. Slay the desire to be noticed. Stir the desire to serve God.

Heed the counsel of Christ: "First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too" (Matt. 23:26). Focus on the inside, and the outside will take care of itself. Lay your motives before God daily, hourly. "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life" (Ps. 139:23-24).

Twice Adopted

2010-07-31T18:31:00.006-06:00

Sitting at the airport, I observed the warm embrace of children, lovers, parents, and friends. I saw tears flow. Tears of happiness and sadness. Greetings and farewells rang through the air. The intensity of human emotion struck me like never before. Clearly, we were meant for relationships; not loneliness.

A year ago, in July of 2009, the long search for my birth mother ended when my 19 year old daughter found her obituary on the internet, along with her photograph. Even at 85 years old, I immediately saw the resemblance and knew without a doubt that she was my mother. She had passed away only two months prior.

The obituary listed her six older brothers. Five were described as "preceded in death" and one was still living at age ninety seven. I discovered that one, a twin, had passed away at age 14 from a misdiagnosed ruptured appendix. The other five served in the military for years. One had been a pilot and had made a heroic emergency water landing in the Pacific Ocean. It was only after the Coast Guard had been delayed that the plane sunk into the frigid water. The pilot and all but six passengers died of hypothermia. Another was shot down and taken prisoner in Germany. I felt a lump in my throat. Could I really be related to such valient men? If only I could have known them. Other relatives ("survived by") were listed as well, which seemed like a great place to begin.

I could feel my heart pounding when I dialed the number of an aunt. She was more than bewildered and very skeptical. Understandably, she requested proof of my identity, which I sent immediately. Two weeks later, I received a very sweet voice message on my cell phone from a cousin in Maryland. I returned her call and learned more about my newly found family. For a year, we emailed one another became virtually acquainted. They graciously invited me to their family reunion to be held in July, 2010.

Now here I was at Denver International Airport, waiting for my flight. I would arrive that afternoon in Minneapolis to meet them for the first time.

I stayed there for a week, soaking in stories of days gone by, studying photos, reading articles and letters. I was either laughing or crying every moment of my stay. It was incredibly humbling to be welcomed and embraced by those who had never known me. Everyone I met commented how much I resembled my mother, both physically and in manorism.

The homestead where my grandparents raised their six children is still there and is well cared for. I climbed up into the hay loft of the old barn where they worked and played year after year. I stood before the river that runs through the property and could see them splashing and laughing. Gazing up at the old oak tree, I saw the rope swinging in the wind which once held a tire swing. I could see my mother seated on it, legs dangling while being pushed by an older brother.

She was never married and never had any other children. My father's name was withheld from my birth certificate, and no one seems to know who he was. In prayer one night, I complained to God about that. He answered in His voice that I've come to know: "You are not illegitimate. I adopted you and you are Mine."

I run my finger over photographs of my mother and whisper a thank you. No doubt it was a difficult decision but the right one for both of us.

"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:13-14

In His Arms

2010-06-02T16:27:00.001-06:00

Soon after the birth of our son, we enrolled him in swimming lessons. He swam instinctively. The water provided a familiar and comfortable environment. Then came the day when he stood on the edge of the pool and jumped in. Without even a hint of fear or hesitation, he happily jumped into his father's arms. His expression remains emblazoned in my mind. It was that of sheer delight! And he wanted to do it again and again. As long as Daddy was there with his arms outstretched, he was more than ready to jump.

Jesus' disciples were terrified as the boat was tossed about like a toothpick (Mark 4:35-41). Meanwhile, Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. How was He in such peace while His disciples were in fear of losing their very lives? Remember, these were experienced fishermen. It's not like they weren't accustomed to storms. The answer: He was resting in His Father's arms.

How comfortable am I jumping into the arms of my Heavenly Father? Do I really trust Him? Do I find delight in placing my life in His hands at the beginning of each day? Or do I doubt that He's even there? What if He's distracted? What if He doesn't even care?

Ever noticed how children can sleep in the arms of their parents, even when completely surrounded by chaos?

The arms of my Father is only place of perfect peace. The only place I can rest assured that my life is in His capable hands. He is always there, arms open wide, just waiting for me to jump. And it is in the midst the storms of life when trusting Him brings peace that passes all understanding.

Train Them Up

2010-05-09T20:16:00.001-06:00

I can always count on God meeting me in the classroom of my flower garden. The place where my Teacher can actually capture my attention and impress upon me unforgettable lessons.

This one came from my purple Clematis. It climbs up the wooden lattice, weaving in and out, through and around the openings. This flowering vine must be guided gently in the desired direction while it's growing. If not consistantly directed, the Clematis - like any other vine - will quickly become unruly. After only a short time, it had latched onto the nearby aspens.

I stood gazing up, shaking my head. This was the result of my own neglect. Although beautiful and healthy, it was completely out of control! What followed was the painful and tedious task of prying it away from the aspen grove back onto it's intended boundary.

Then it came. The subtle tap on the shoulder accompanied by His familiar voice. "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6.

Parents set the course for their children when they're young by teaching them about God. Children who have been raised well take those lessons with them into adulthood. Conversely, children who are neglected or undisciplined often go their own ways. They may look good on the outside while in reality are out of control and headed for distruction.

Spreading the Wealth

2010-05-07T09:14:00.002-06:00

You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

Adrian Rogers, 1931 - 2005

WTF (Why The Frown)?

2010-04-23T16:23:00.002-06:00

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." Ps 42:4-6

I draw comfort from these words of the Psalmist, especially when my soul is "downcast".

David was a shepherd who loved and protected every lamb in his fold. Sometimes, when they would lay down, they would roll too far and end up with their hooves up in the air and no way to turn back over. Perfect prey for nearby wolves who were just waiting for the opportunity to attack. This predicament was known as "downcast" by shepherds. A good shepherd was one who was watchful and ready to run to the rescue, gently turning him over. David mentioned fighting off enemies of the flock when he fearlessly stood up to Goliath. Although young and small, he was unafraid - knowing that God always accompanied him, directing the stones he flung, ensuring precision.

Something to keep in mind. Our Good Shepherd is always mindful of His sheep. He knows everything (and everyone) that comes against us. It's easy to doubt when we lay helplessly on our backs, unable to see Him. But our God faithfully fights the enemy on our behalf every day. I am so grateful to be marked as one of His!

Spring Forward

2010-03-17T11:06:00.001-06:00

I allow work to overtake my life at times, like neglecting my flower garden and suddenly it's overcome with weeds. Then I will suddenly wake up and say "oh my gosh - how did this happen?" and begin pulling out the things that weigh me down inside. Springtime, when new life is popping up all around and the Robins start their joyful song - is the perfect time to re-evaluate our priorities, make a new start, call up old friends, travel to new places, begin reading a good book, open the windows of the heart and let the fresh air in!